Grandpa's Funeral

As soon as we got home from the trip Mom called and said Grandpa wasn't doing too well.  It was looking like he would probably not make it too much longer.  After Ellen left for home I immediately started working on the portrait of Grandpa that I had been working on so that I could hopefully get it done by the time we had to go out there for the funeral.  Ellen left on Tuesday the 22nd, on that Friday I was having a little playdate/birthday party for Sanna since her birthday was on our trip and it was during that party that I got the phone call from my mom saying that Grandpa had passed away.  My initial reaction was relief for him to be finally free from the pain. My uncle works for Delta and so he got the kids and I some buddy passes and he urged me to leave the next day since buddy passes can be unpredictable with flights. Brent was working that whole day so I got all packed and the painting all packed up with all my paints and Saturday morning we left at 3:45 to head to the Memphis airport.

The airport is a whole huge story and luckily I already covered that on Instagram.

When we got to Utah I wasn't very social. I spent most of my time down in the basement finishing the painting.  This is how it turned out by the time we left Utah:

The viewing was on Monday and Sanna was asleep in my arms during the whole viewing so I sat on the couch and luckily siblings, cousins, and friends kept me company.  It was hard seeing Grandpa at the viewing, I kept losing it.  I was starting to feel a lot worse about his death and was having trouble hiding my emotions.

The next day was his funeral and I was even more of a mess during the family viewing as we got ready to shut the casket and couldn't stop crying.  The tears continued through most of the first part of his funeral which was very frustrating because I was to give a short talk and sing with my mom.  During my mom's talk however I started to feel calmer and was blessed with some peace.  I wish I could record on here the talks my family members all gave, they were all so wonderful.  This is the talk I gave:

We had the chance to live with Grandma and Grandpa for 7 and a half years. I got to be quite close to Grandpa and saw first hand the awesome man he was.

Many have seen what a hard worker he is, and in the years leading up to his illness he worked pretty much full time still and he would come home just beat.  Though he was tired he’d take the time to play with my kids if we were upstairs. Chico would often sneak up the stairs when Grandpa was eating lunch and he would pull Chico up on his lap and share his food with him. When my babies were learning to walk he’d take them walking all over the place with his big strong hands holding their tiny little hands. They always loved it and he had quite the endurance for it, it seemed he never got tired of it.

He liked working in the yard too, my kids loved to grab a garden tool and work out there with him.  When we got the garden going a couple years into our marriage grandpa would observe and watch and wouldn’t tell us what to do unless we asked him. When we asked his advice he’d give it in a humble way, he knew so much more about gardening than we did but he never acted that way, it’s just the way he was.  He COULD be pushy though… when he wanted you to eat watermelon!  It was hard to say no when he looked at you with a big smile and his big brown eyes twinkling and watermelon juice dripping all over the floor.

Grandpa had a testimony. You could feel it radiating from him, especially when he prayed or when he heard the hymns.  His simple yet immensely strong faith is precious to me and would often bring me to tears when I’d hear him pray and feel his faith.

There is no one in the world quite like my grandpa.  He was one of a kind.  We’ve lost a wonderful man and Heaven has gained a spiritual giant.

He must be rejoicing to have his mind clear again, free from the cloud of dementia.  He is probably singing with the angels of heaven right now. We got a little peak of that singing in the weeks leading up to his death.  It’s something I’ll never forget.

Grandpa was a man of few words, sometimes he’d just say one word or phrase to try to get you to know what he was trying to talk to you about. So in that same spirit I compiled a list of words or phrases that whenever I hear them, I will think of Grandpa, All of you have your own words and phrases you could add to this list and when we hear those words throughout our lives we’ll think of Grandpa and he will live on in each of us.

Here is my list…

Bar J Wranglers, Corn on the cob, Dancin’ with Woofs, Jackson Hole, Bronze, Clay, How Great Thou Art, Snake River, T.V. Dinners, Watermelon, Sack a potatoes, Upholstery, Torlet, Black Socks with Sandals, and the phrases he’d say like: “I suppose”, “Give me big Loves”, “Take a look a here” and

“It’ll feel better when it stops hurting”

I hope so Grandpa, it’s still hurting having you gone, you can’t come and tickle us behind the ear or give us a back massage anymore to help the hurt but I know that the Spirit can comfort us and we will see you again and it will feel better when it stops hurting.

Chico was quite emotionally distraught.  What a sweet tender soul he has.  My sweet big boy sat next to me though and we cried together during a lot of the funeral.  After I got done singing "His Hands" with my mom Chico whispered in my ear, "Grandpa was a lot like the Savior".  That touched my heart that he recognized that from the song. It is why we sang that song.

The graveside service was at the cemetery near Island View Park which made me really happy. Every time I visit Centerville I can easily go and visit Grandpa's grave now.  It was a beautiful grave side service as well with the military honors being done as well.

The day after the funeral I went to the temple. I thought of Grandpa during most of the session and cried a lot of course.  I thought of how grateful I am for the choices he made in his life that have so affected his posterity of which I am a part.  It just overwhelmed me with gratitude to be part of his posterity and helped me feel recommitted to living righteously for my posterity as well.  I sat in the Celestial Room after it was over and started feeling peace about him in my heart. In my brain I had known he was in a better place but it hadn't quite reached my heart to feel okay about him not being with us anymore.  As I sat there I started to come to terms with it and finally felt alright and felt happy for him where he was.  Since that time I have felt peace about him and all those sad resentful feelings of wishing he didn't have to get sick and die are gone now and I just feel at peace about it. Of course I miss him still, he was a wonderful Grandpa. I'm just grateful I had such a good relationship with him.  
"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard."

Our Visit to See my Grandpa

My grandpa wasn't doing very well, and last Friday (July 15) the family and medical personnel were pretty sure he wouldn't have much longer to live.  We really wanted to be there to see him while he was still alive. We're pretty close with my Grandpa Coy, not only from my childhood but also having lived in their basement for the first 8 years of our marriage. So we got permission from the precepting Doctor and the school and left the next day for Utah.

I had gotten a bee sting on Thursday evening and it just kept on a swellin', pretty soon my foot looked like I had preeclampsia again.  Brent was worried about me sitting in the car ALL day with a foot swollen like that. So he set up a bed for me so I could elevate my foot and he drove all but the last four hours of the trip. I was grateful he did  that because my foot was indeed in a lot of pain. We didn't get a hotel this time again, we just slept in a rest stop and it actually worked out pretty well because of this bed he made for me (I'm a bit picky about how I lay and sleeping usually isn't very possible in the car for me). I pulled the kids out of their car seats and we all just laid out all over the van.  Glad we had left the back seats of the van up so this was possible, good thinking Brent!!!

We drove straight to the care center and spent some good time with him.

I'll never forget when we got there (Sunday) and he was still doing poorly how in his sleep he sang along with us. It was amazing.  Mostly he mouthed the words along with us but when we sang, "How Great Thou Art" (his favorite hymn) he sang OUT LOUD right on pitch. He's always been too timid to sing and always just wanted to listen. It was amazing.  He has said music helps pull him out of his parkinsons episodes. Most of my aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings were there as well.  They put us in a big room and we all sang together. It was really neat.

Grandpa started waking up more and being more responsive.

Brent attended to him on Monday.  It was his first time alone with him. As they were talking Brent got the idea to see how he did with a paintbrush in his hand. So Brent cruised to the house and got some paintbrushes, a blank canvas. and a few paints.  He didn't expect much, he just wanted to try it out since Grandpa is an artist and always working with his hands.

Brent got the paintbrush ready for him and he put it in his hand and grandpa painted! For 10 minutes! After that he decided he needed to go to the bathroom and then eat.  He had just went days and days without eating and he finally decided to eat! He even fed himself some of the food. It was incredible to see the change.  Art therapy! Who knew?!

So I wanted a turn with him the next day and went to be with him and these are the thoughts I wrote down after I had a wonderful time with him that morning:

I'm sitting with my grandpa at the care center today and I want to record some of the thoughts I've had and experiences with him.

Grandpa just amazes me. He is a fighter, he is so strong.  I've caught him on a good morning.  He was sitting up sleeping in his wheelchair.  I talked to him for a while talking about this and that and finally I mentioned who all was living at his house and I said, "I wish we were still living there." and all the sudden it was like a lightbulb turned on and he said, "Why can't you be there anymore?" and that led to me telling him all about Tennessee and he expressed a desire to come see the Eastern United States and after a while he was able to express how he wanted to see it because it sounded like it had a lot of beautiful... and then he couldn't remember the word for trees so I asked if trees were what he was referring to and he said yes.

We painted together... I wept as he painted.  He couldn't reach out to take the paintbrush but once it was in his hand he painted like it was so natural to him.  As we were looking at the painting he said, "it's different but... it has... power".  Healing power is what I feel like he was feeling, I don't know.

We were looking at it working on it together a bit because he didn't want to be the only one painting so when he needed breaks he had me paint too.  I said I thought we should go get some yellow paint, it really needed some yellow and he said, "Where's the store?" I said I had to wait to go get it until mom got there. And he said, "Well why don't you take my car I have parked out front?" ;)

Later I was telling him how worried the family was for him.  He expressed in his own way how he wished we could all be together again.  I told him how we sang to him when he was so sick and that he sang along.  His eyes got wide and he said, "I did?"  I told him how perfect he sang and how good he sounded and he still looked surprised and said, "I didn't know I could do that!"  I told him I always suspected he could because of how pretty he could whistle.  He seemed surprised to hear he could whistle too.  Later I was singing to him and he was looking down at his hands trying to whistle along.

Over the next few days, with Grandpa improving so much we tried taking him home to care for him.  A hospital bed was acquired and my amazing family got the sculpture room all cleaned out so he could be in that room with more space.  It would have all worked quite well if Grandpa could have stayed in bed.  I stayed the night the first night and literally every 20 minutes he was trying to get out of bed.  He just couldn't remember that he couldn't walk anymore.  I felt so bad for him laying there in that wet brief and I had no idea how to do anything for him besides talking with him and singing for him.  It was a long hard night. Kelly came early on in the night when Grandpa was super agitated and that helped calm him down.  Steve came early in the morning and helped me change him out of his wet clothes.  Oh I forgot, one thing that added to his agitation that night was that he was worried about where all of his sculptures had gone.  He thought someone had stolen them and they were worth thousands of dollars.

 I couldn't stay the next night (It was so exhausting) so during the next few days Mom and the family worked hard to figure out where Grandpa could go since it wasn't working at home.  There was a lot of frustration about what to do at night and even a fall in the night but luckily he wasn't hurt. Finally a VA facility was found that was nice and he was first taken back to the original care center for a few days so he would get better care then we were able to give him at night at home and then he was taken to the other facility the day we left to go back home.

These are pictures of my last time seeing Grandpa alive...

My sweet boy was singing to him and caring so sweetly for him. What a tender loving soul Chico is.

As for the other parts of this trip... I did a pretty good job documenting it all on Instagram so rather than repost it here, you can check it out there.  One thing I didn't have on Instagram are these pics that I got from my sister in law.

I guess Griz can't give real smiles when it's super hot but he DID have fun at this parade. Glad we got to hang out with the cousins all day, it was good cousin time. :)

I still don't see why they don't just start it an hour later in the day, it would make so much more sense.

Let me think if I forgot anything else from the trip that I didn't cover in Instagram....yeah I'm sure I forgot a lot.  Basically we hung out with the my Grandparents and parents quite a bit! The kids had several sleepovers at Grandma Ellen's but I stayed with my parents.  Oh we did have a birthday party for Chico while Brent was still there but I didn't have my new phone at that point so I didn't take any pictures on it but my parent's had their Canon Rebel and took some, here are a few of Chico....

 (That is a lego cake by the way.)

Oh and they spent a lot of time in the tree picking apricots and testing their climbing skills...

Oh and Dino Park with Gma Ellen while was at the temple in Ogden...

Our Trip to Utah

Brent's semester break began after school on a Friday, I stayed up late that night cleaning and packing while Brent went to bed early and got a few hours of sleep and then he got up and finished packing everything and got everyone in the car and out on the road by 3:00 am.  I tried to sleep while he drove but it' s just so hard for me, even so I think I got a few hours total here and there.

Brent was making really good time and we only stopped for gas and luckily the kids were able to hold it for a long time and only had to use the bathroom when we stopped to fill up the car.  I also had packed lots of good healthy food to eat during the day so we didn't even have to stop for food. We started having car trouble in Wyoming and by about Lyman we weren't sure we'd make it.  But with some careful driving by Brent and an alternate route avoiding Parley's Canyon we made it safe and sound by 12:30 am.  Pretty awesome right!?

We got some sleep and then went to church the next morning.  Kids were so excited to be with Grandma and Grandpa again they went with them to their ward.  We wanted to go to our old ward. It was fun to see old friends and neighbors... and yes we played hooky from the last two meetings so we could catch up talking with friends in the foyer. 

On Monday morning Brent and I went skiing!!!  The picture below is the only pic on I got before my phone shut off.  

Snow was great, we were both skiing on new skis for us. It was gonna be a great day! Until the fact that we were skiing at 8,000-12,000 feet elevation started hitting me and I'm used to being at 500 feet elevation.  I was hyperventilating and having to stop every couple turns by the end there I couldn't believe how bad my legs were shaking.  It was all I could do to make it down the mountain.  Brent and I had fun even though my body wasn't responding well to it.  We had fun eating snow and throwing it at each other.  It really was just a fun memory for me of time spent with my patient kind hubby.  I'm so lucky to have him.

After skiing we had a Davis Family Party. At the Family Party I got to meet my new nephew! He's just a few weeks old and oh so tiny and precious. And oh his grunting.  Brings back memories.  It was fun getting to hold him.

(I hardly took any pictures, so the majority of pictures you will see are from family members, thank you guys!)

We also got to see our other nephew whom we haven't seen since he was a month old or so. Oh how he has grown! He has started this adorable hugging phase.  He gives long big hugs that just fill your heart to bursting.  I always knew children that have Down Syndrome are extra loving but I had no idea how it starts so early! What a sweet sweet boy he is.

(Ha ha, I just noticed how I'm crushing Sanna in the picture above)

And all our other nieces and nephews of course look so much older and it was fun to see them again! I hardly recognized the nephew Sanna's age. He just looked like a kid now instead of a baby! I guess that's how Sanna appeared to everyone else too.

It was a fun night (minus the scare with Sanna's hand getting shut in the door, but she seemed fine after we got each finger wrapped in a bandaid, lol, see pic below).

The next morning (Tuesday) we took the kids skiing with Brent's dad.  It was snowing really hard yet again so we didn't get out our nice camera (though I'm REALLY kicking myself for it now).

Brent's dad took these pics on his phone down at the base when we were getting them readjusted to skiing (it's been a while)

 Unfortunately the Chickadee chair lift was closed and the only lift open led up to intermediate and advanced skiing areas and that's at Snowbird, so that means they're more difficult than normal. So yeah, we didn't get to take Sanna skiing.  She and I hung out at the bottom playing in the snow and hiking up a bit to ski down the little hill.  We hung out in the lodge a bit and then thought to go check if they were almost done with the first run.  I got out there and looked up on the hill and saw a man with a giant child on his back skiing down the mountain with another kid skiing next to him.  Yes, that was Brent my amazing hubby. He got to the bottom and dropped Griz off his back for me to take care of him and he and Chico and Grandpa went for another round on Gad 2. I took Griz inside the lodge to recuperate.  He was quite cold and had been quite overwhelmed by the steepness of the skiing, hence why Brent had to carry him down the mountain on his back.  Brent amazes me, I don't know how he did it!

INSERT Brent writing about how Chico did on the mountain

We were so comfy back at the lodge that the kids soon fell asleep, in fact I saw their eyes shutting and entering sleepy land at almost the same instant. It was quite funny.  A man in his 60s was walking by and just thought this was the sweetest scene ever and he asked if I wanted a picture so I handed him my phone and he took this one below.

Brent's Dad switched off with me and I was going to get to go but unfortunately the altitude got to Chico too and he got a massive headache and couldn't go anymore.  So instead I took them home and Brent got to ski with his dad some more which he loved.  Look at the difference in quality between a new iphone picture with Brent's dads phone below and my crappy iPhone 4 with no battery power above.  Yeah, I want a new phone.

After skiing we went to my sister Jenni's house (no pictures from that as far I know unless mom or Jenni took any).  The kids and I got there first ahead of Brent and they were still quite tired from the mountain so they watched a few shows while Jenni and I caught up.  Then everyone else showed up and we had dinner and hung out.  It was a lot of fun. Neko even seemed to remember me when, as he walked by, I said "Hi Neko" (of course pronouncing his name wrong, which I'm the only person to do that, don't ask me why).  He stopped in his tracks and looked at me.  It was a bit awkward, I thought, 'Now what?... I guess I should pet him, is that customary in a situation like this?'. So I did. Then I said to him, "well see ya" and I walked into the bathroom.

After dinner  we were driving home from the Salt Lake area and we remembered we had wanted to go to Leatherbys while in Utah. So we did. It was even better than I remembered!  Kids thought the big cups with ice cream were so cool!

 Wednesday morning we went to the Church Art and History Museum. They had a new kids exhibit and I really also wanted to see who the winners were for the last competition.  I had entered the Kind and Loving Savior painting and it didn't make it as a winner so I wanted to see which pieces beat it out.... maybe wasn't the best plan.... it turned out a lot of the art was, in our opinion, kinda lame.  It put Brent in quite the sour mood.  I am used to how it is in the art world (having majored in art in college). It's subjective and a little bit biased toward abstract, so it didn't surprise me too much and I wasn't too bothered.  Even my parents and Chico were quite surprised by the winners pieces, and quite disappointed. I say, oh well, que sera sera! (I have to have that attitude or else it'd make being an artist really frustrating).

After that we went to Kneaders and let the kids play at City Creek on the Dinosaurs while we visited with my parents.

That afternoon we went and took family pictures at the Maynes' house.  Of course even though it was only a 14% chance of rain during the time we had available, it poured right before we were going to get started.  We improvised though and took them on the front porch instead.  Not the best picture in the world but at least everyone was there!

Heidi sent me these pics from her phone...

 after that we sat and visited for a bit...

 We bored Sanna to sleep apparently ;)  Look how cute my new little niece is, checking out her sleeping cousin she doesn't know.

 Chico and his cousin his same age got along great!!! They struggled getting along back when we lived in Utah (Chico would get his feelings hurt too easily) but maybe they appreciate each other more now or they're better able to communicate. Whatever reason they really got along well.

I was so excited to meet my new niece. She was born just weeks after our last visit. She tolerated me holding her for a bit, though she'd have preferred her momma.

 Then we left because the Maynes had things going on that night and we went to Heidi's house for a SUPER yummy dinner that she made for us all.  (Fish and rosemary roasted potatoes salad and cookies)  Then after dinner we were sitting around talking about the cinnamon challenge. Brent had apparently never heard of it so when he heard what it entailed he said, "That's easy, I can do that".  And so he did.  Totally impressed us all, he made it look easy peasy. Simon tried it next, he completed the challenge but we were worried there for a second for him when a little cinnamon puffed out of his nose.  He muscled through it and finished swallowing it though.  None of the rest of us would try it though.  Then we had a blast watching Pure Luck. Heidi's sink broke that night during the movie so Brent worked on it and told them the part they needed to buy and that we'd be back to fix it.

We went back on Friday after hanging out with Heidi and Ellen at McDonald's. Something went wrong again so Brent needed to come back a second time to fix it after that.  So we decided to leave the kids with Mom Ellen and we doubled with Heidi and Joh, they treated us to Settebello's to thank Brent for fixing the sink. After stuffing ourselves with pizza we felt like there was still of course room for  ice cream  (I'd write "gelato" but Brent will change it back to "ice cream" because it bugs him that people make it seem like gelato is anything different than ice cream.)  It was super yummy, I love hazelnut and chocolate.  I just wish they'd serve it cones like I'd always have it in Italy.  Anyway, it was really fun to double with them and sit and chat without the kids interrupting, we had a good time!

 So rewind back.  On Thursday we went to Treehouse Museum with my parents and Emily.  I'm glad she was able to come it was fun to hang out with her, I'm sure she liked getting out of the house, and the kids love their Aunt Emmy.  Everyone made sure we had a good time! Thanks Parents for all of that!!!!

And thanks Em for the cute pictures...

Kids learned how to play chess on this trip.  There isn't a picture of Brent and Chico playing but they did play quite a bit. There is a lifesize chess set at the museum that they also used.

 Chico, Brent and I wandered away from the museum while we were finishing up our lunch and went and checked out the iFly thing over in the next building.  There were 6 people taking turns doing cool acrobatics in the air. It was fun to watch, almost mesmerizing.

 After we left from Ogden we visited with Grandpa and Grandma Coy.  It was really fun.  We played this game where we bounced the balloon up in the air.  Grandpa has Dementia and Parkinsons and hasn't been doing well lately. He just totally lit up and played along with us. He seemed to really enjoy himself. Mom said she hasn't seen him that way in a long time.

After we left from our old house we went out to "The Nacho House" in North Salt Lake with my parents and Em. We've never been there before, it was really good!  At one point during the meal Chico got really sad and with such despair in his voice asked, "Why did we ever have to move from Utah?".  Broke my heart. He's always been so close to his grandparents. He doesn't notice how much he misses them while we're gone until we are back together and then it hits him how much he misses life in Utah.

Early Saturday Morning Simon took Brent and the boys fishing.  Brent actually got the camera out and took some pictures! Go Brent!

Chico caught a fish!!!

When they were done fishing they came back and got cleaned up and then we went and took family pictures at my parent's house and had a family party.

I love this picture of Jenni's sweet family.

Lion King action for the new baby.  He was so chill about it, cracked me up.

After the family party we hung out with Ellen and Simon again oh and Taran too. They took us out to eat at a place in West Bountiful called Waffle Love. It was amazing! Then we went with them to hang out at the Palacios for a bit.  There was a big East Wind starting that night so of course the power went out while we were there which was a bummer.

Luckily my sister's ward didn't cancel church because of the storm like other parts of Centerville and she was still able to have her son's baby blessing (which was good because most of his family was visiting from out of town just like us).

After church we went back and hung out with the Wongs again and Simon made us Yummy Shrimp Fried Rice.  After a while they took their sunday nap and we went up to hang out with Brent's Dad. They played chess and Brent's dad put on a magic show just like he used to do when Brent was a kid. They loved it!!!  Then we grabbed Taran and Katie and they hung out with us at Brent's mom's house

Monday morning we took my painting up to Grizzly Graphics to get it matched so we can make some prints.  It took several hours and was completely exhausting. 

That night we had a party that started out with getting to ride a horse for the kids at the neighbors house.  Sanna was less scared of these giant horses than she is of cats and dogs.  Crazy girl.

Luckily Christa wasn't lazy like me and actually took pictures.  I don't know why I didn't. Anyway, so I grabbed these off of her blog. Thanks Christa!

 Then I slipped away for a bit and did a quick photo shoot at Island View Park. Then I came back and joined back with the party. Yummy food and REALLY yummy Mexican fried ice cream made by Grandma.  The kids had a blast playing with their cousins and I enjoyed chatting with everyone.

Thanks for the pics below Heidi!!!

Thanks for planning a fun party grandma and grandpa!

The kids put on performances and did magic tricks. Such cute kids.

These Discovery Toy stacking owls are so much fun.

The next morning we went to the Temple in the morning. As we were getting in the car to go I opened the car door right into my face and scratched it up.  Smooth.

Then I went to my Mom's and Brent went with his Mom to have lunch with her and Steve.

Emily and Jenni joined My mom and I and that was a lot of fun.  I even got the camera out and took some pictures of the new baby. (I'll post those when I get them finished) My kids wanted in on some of the pictures they were having a blast being dressed up and playing the parts...

 Griz wanted to keep this lion costume so bad. He looks so cute and funny in it.

Here is my Mom with the final painting...

 Chico wanted in on some of the spotlight...

That night Simon and Ellen took us out one more time.  IHOP was yummy! I had to leave a bit early so I could go take some pictures of an awesome young man who just got his mission call and is about to graduate!  Right after the photo shoot we hung out with the Morgans for the rest of the evening.  We used to live across the street from them and we sure do miss this awesome family.  Not only are the parents great friends but all of their kids are too. We've had the privilege of watching them as they've grown up these past 8 or 9 years and they are just such awesome people.

It was kinda sad leaving Utah.  I took some pictures from my cell phone in the car as we drove away. I'll miss the mountains, not gonna lie.

These kids sure got a lot of screen time on these drives...

And heer is a little sneak peak of the roadtrip home.... 

These pics are from my cell phone that I posted on Instagram but you can read ALL about it on the next blogpost.  Ha ha!