Ready for Spring

We live on the coast so I really shouldn't complain about winter... but even though it's not as cold and snowy etc we still get the worst part about winter.

ILLNESS

I am so very very sick of a cold or stomach bug being spread through the members of our family in a never ending cycle. 

It's GORGEOUS outside right now and I'm laying here on the couch hacking away with this painful cough and now I have itchy red eyes too.  Thanks for bringing all that goodness home from Kindergarten Sanna.... 'preciate it. SO much.
I haven't posted much since the new year because honestly I'm just hanging on for dear life.  The year started out great with de-cluttering the house. I was totally Marie Kondo-ing the heck out of my clothes and books.  Then I realized it was keeping me from some paintings I need to do for some people so I put the organizing on hold while I worked on these paintings.
Then at the end of January, Griz got backed into by a car in a parking lot and wasn't seriously hurt but it set me back emotionally (guilt for not watching him better and teaching him safety I guess).  That guilt combined with my house and paintings and parenting and fitness being not how I wanted it and hormonal problems probably too... for a couple weeks I could feel myself sinking into a depression and I didn't want it to happen again.  I had a good talk with Brent and my friend Raylene and the next day decided to start a painting that I myself wanted to do.  Not a commissioned piece.  I put the other paintings to the side for a bit and got it started.  It is a painting of the Savior and I LOVE it.  I'm so excited about it and it really pulled me through. I don't know why that works for me but it does.  Glad I got it figured out faster this time than I did 4 years ago.  Anyway, besides the sickness I feel a lot better about life.  I still feel lonely and feelings of serious inadequacy a lot but I feel like I can deal with those things, it's not the dark depression like before.
I'm glad I was doing better before Grandma died.  It would have been harder to cope otherwise.  We buried her a week ago.  I miss her. I can't wait to see her again someday. I wrote more about that on Instagram.
I'll post pictures of the paintings when they are finished.  They're coming along pretty well and getting pretty close!

Heavenly Berry Cream-cheesey Cake

This cake is similar to cakes I've had growing up in Utah. The one my mom made for many a family party was called "Danish Dessert Cake".  The other one I had was called "Cheese Cake for a Crowd".  Both of these cakes call for the white cake mix to be prepared in a cookie sheet. Instead I often do 2 round cakes, it's easier to give away one of the cakes that way! I even enjoy doing it in a cheese cake pan because it's less messy that way. If you're taking it to a party, a cookie sheet will go farther. Either way, the important thing is that the sponge itself ends up on the thinner side. 

Ingredients:
1 white cake mix and ingredients listed on the box

2, 8 oz packages cream cheese softened to room temp

4 cups powdered sugar

1 pint whipping cream

2, 16 oz cans raspberry pie filling (or make your own filling which I did and honestly you could probably just use fresh fruit and ditch the sauce and it would still taste amazing)

Directions:
Grease a cookie sheet (11.5x16.5) 
Prepare cake according to package directions. If baking in a cookie sheet, bake it for 20 minutes or until cake tests done. Remove from oven and cool. 

Make whipping cream.
In a separate bowl whip the cream cheese and powdered sugar until fluffy and smooth, fold in whipped cream that you have already whipped into the mixture. Spread mixture onto cake, it’s supposed to be a nice thick layer, the more the better. 
Spread pie filling on top of the cream cheese layer. Add fresh berries on top too for added goodness! Refrigerate until ready to serve. 

This is how I made the berry topping but I doubled it and added extra sugar because it seemed too thin and tart due to the blackberries I also didn’t use fresh lemon juice cuz I didn’t have any:

2/3 cup frozen blueberries

 2/3 cup frozen blackberries

 1/2 cup water 

1/4 cup sugar 

2 tablespoons fresh lemon juice 

1 tablespoon butter

Combine first 5 ingredients in a small saucepan. Bring mixture to a boil. Reduce heat to medium-low; gently boil 10 minutes or until sauce thickens. Stir in butter.