Ready for Spring

We live on the coast so I really shouldn't complain about winter... but even though it's not as cold and snowy etc we still get the worst part about winter.

ILLNESS

I am so very very sick of a cold or stomach bug being spread through the members of our family in a never ending cycle. 

It's GORGEOUS outside right now and I'm laying here on the couch hacking away with this painful cough and now I have itchy red eyes too.  Thanks for bringing all that goodness home from Kindergarten Sanna.... 'preciate it. SO much.
I haven't posted much since the new year because honestly I'm just hanging on for dear life.  The year started out great with de-cluttering the house. I was totally Marie Kondo-ing the heck out of my clothes and books.  Then I realized it was keeping me from some paintings I need to do for some people so I put the organizing on hold while I worked on these paintings.
Then at the end of January, Griz got backed into by a car in a parking lot and wasn't seriously hurt but it set me back emotionally (guilt for not watching him better and teaching him safety I guess).  That guilt combined with my house and paintings and parenting and fitness being not how I wanted it and hormonal problems probably too... for a couple weeks I could feel myself sinking into a depression and I didn't want it to happen again.  I had a good talk with Brent and my friend Raylene and the next day decided to start a painting that I myself wanted to do.  Not a commissioned piece.  I put the other paintings to the side for a bit and got it started.  It is a painting of the Savior and I LOVE it.  I'm so excited about it and it really pulled me through. I don't know why that works for me but it does.  Glad I got it figured out faster this time than I did 4 years ago.  Anyway, besides the sickness I feel a lot better about life.  I still feel lonely and feelings of serious inadequacy a lot but I feel like I can deal with those things, it's not the dark depression like before.
I'm glad I was doing better before Grandma died.  It would have been harder to cope otherwise.  We buried her a week ago.  I miss her. I can't wait to see her again someday. I wrote more about that on Instagram.
I'll post pictures of the paintings when they are finished.  They're coming along pretty well and getting pretty close!