We have been presented with an opportunity to do a couple rotations for PA school in other states (Oregon and Utah) in late winter. With this being said, it presents an issue since we have 3 children, two of which are school aged and changing schools several times in a school year isn't an option in my book. One solution to this problem is for me to stay in Tennessee with the kids while Brent does the traveling alone for approximately 2 months. It probably would be the more sensible and easier option but I'm not very happy about being left out of a good adventure! So a plan has been formulating in my mind, keeping me up at night, being a big source of conversation with my friends and family (sorry guys, I'm sure it gets annoying). The plan hinges on one thing. I would need to homeschool the kids next year. At first this made me so sad because it seemed impossible. I am SO impatient with my children. Teaching Chico sight words and reading wasn't pretty back in Kindergarten. I didn't think I could handle homeschool, it seemed utterly impossible.
I had a friend move into our area several months ago and she and her family are members of our church. She does homeschool with her children. As we've become friends I've asked her all about homeschooling, the more she told me the more courage I took. She has kids similar aged to mine and it actually sounded doable and actually sounded kinda fun!
So two weeks after school let out (here in Tennessee it's the beginning of May when the kids get out) I put the kids "back in school" and started a trial run of homeschool. I needed to know if it would work out before the beginning of August when school starts up again.
I will say yes I've lost my temper a few times but for the most part it has been an answer to the prayers I didn't know I should be praying for.
I've struggled with happiness as a mother at different points in their lives. Sometimes I'd go as far as saying I had depression and anxiety, especially after Sanna was born. I've been present physically but not necessarily present emotionally for them.
I saw a quote on a church's billboard as I was driving the other day that said something to the effect of "You can't change the sands of time by sitting on your butt". When I read that, instead of feeling guilt this time, I felt peace. I AM making a difference in my children's lives. I am influencing them and changing them for the better now. I was never a terrible mom by any sense, but now I am beginning to be the mother I've always wanted to be but was always too lazy sitting on my butt watching the days go by on a screen or in a book.
My days are filled with my children now. I think I've finally found fuller joy in my calling as being their mother. I used to feel it was a nuisance having them home all day because it's keeping me from doing things I want to do (photo edit, scrapbook, paint, or I hate to admit it... watch Netflix). They'd want to make something or do a project and I never wanted to. But now, I spend quality time with them doing projects and games that inspire learning and it fills my heart with joy.
I'm so grateful for the Lord sending me on this path. Grateful that for some reason Chico really wanted to homeschool in the first place. And grateful to my friend for spending hours helping me get this Hatch Homeschool up and running. :)
I will most likely put them back in public education after this year because I want to make a career as an artist. But I feel like this year will change me and make me a better mom for my children when I am with them.
Well, I'm off... kids are waking up soon and we've got a fun day of learning about rocks, making play dough to learn about the earth's crust and the plate tectonics and reading Little House on the Prairie together.