February 23, 2010

been reading

I started this last Friday and finished it today (Tuesday).  I have had a hard time putting down this 800 page book.  My Grandma got it for Christmas and when she finished it I asked her if I could read it.  She looked at where I was at today very surprised and said, "You are a fast reader!"  Well maybe, but neglectful mother/wife might be a better description.  Gerald Lund just knows how to wrap me in so that I can't put a book down.  I'll admit it, I have read the whole series of The Work and the Glory... three times. :)  Too bad I don't remember them better or else I'd be a whiz at church history! 
I just wanted to say a few things about these amazing people.  They had faith.  They were called on a mission to settle an area by the San Juan so that they could be a buffer for the Indians and White-Men Bandits I guess you could say.  How would you like that call?  Anyway, the hardest part though was GETTING to where they were going.  I won't go into detail but it was HARD and they stuck to it.  When they were at a point when they had to decide whether to go on or not one of the leaders said, "Even if there is no way to go through, we must go through." And they did it.  There was no way but with their faith in God, several miracles, and their "stick-to-ativness" they made the way through.  It took them 6 months when they thought it would take 6 weeks.
Lately I have been feeling inadequate in a lot of ways. Mostly with my role as a mother.  I've heard that most women feel or have felt this way at one point in their lives. I'm trying to work through it.  This book seemed to come at a good time.  I can make it through hard times, I can change, I can become a good mother even if I don't feel like I measure up right now. 
Yesterday I was making cookies for Brent's co-workers (the really good chocolate chip ones, "crack cookies" as they have deemed it) and I realized that it has been two years since I last ate cookie dough.  This seems like a super-dumb example but here it goes anyway.  When I first became pregnant with Chico I read that it's not good to eat cookie dough while pregnant because you could get salmonella from the raw eggs.  I told Brent about it and he said, "Well yeah, it's NEVER a good idea to eat cookie dough because of the raw eggs. That's disgusting."  I realized that he was RIGHT!  I would NEVER eat the contents of a raw egg plain, but there I would go shoving cookie dough down my throat like there was no tomorrow (Kimee can testify to that).  I decided from that moment to never eat cookie dough ever again.  So last night when I thought about that I realized that I am capable of change and it made me feel good.
Anyway, I just was wondering if any of you have ideas on how to make the long days more bearable at home?  To enjoy your time with your children?  I'd love some ideas, seriously.  Because I love my little chico, and as he's getting older I'm having a hard time adjusting to the greater demand to my time he requires.


Michelle said...

Hey Sarah! Gosh I just think you are such an awesome woman and so sweet. I am with you on wishing I remembered more from the Work and the Glory. Why do we remember the fiction so well and not the non-fiction? I am, however, not with you on the whole cookie dough thing. I just love the stuff. I REALIZE that I'm taking a risk but it's a risk I'm willing to take. :) As far as mothering inadequacies go, it just means you're a good mom that you feel that way in the first place because it shows a desire for improvement, which is what life is all about. I've been trying to capture "mental pictures" lately so that I can look back on moments when I say to myself, "I sure let that fly by" or "I did not enjoy that stage to the fullest" or "I wish I could remember more from that stage in life." I think photos and videos take away from the emotions of moments like that, so a mental snapshot is better.

The end of the world's longest comment. :)

Melanie and Steve Barnes said...

You know what helps me to get through the long days? Three little things:

Number one is showering before 7pm. Life (especially stay-at-home mommy life) doesn't seem so mundane and unglamorous when you get out of your pajamas and put a little make-up on. Then you don't have to pretend like no one's home when you hear a knock at the door. It works wonders for my mood to look decent, even if no one but my baby sees me. And Steve doesn't come home to a wife who looks like she's a depressed/stressed hermit. Also, the isolated time in the silence of the hot shower while Jacob is napping is PRICELESS.

Number two, I try to get fresh air at least once a day. More than just the one breath I get in (usually I'm actually holding my breath) when I open the back door to put a poopy diaper in the diaper genie. I've been trying to at least go out the the mail box every day.

Number three, SUNLIGHT. I have started opening my drapes during the day to let the sunlight in. It may be too cold to sit outside and bask in it, but it can still be enjoyed from indoors. Having the windows open also motivates me to shower and change out of my pjs :)